Sleeping for four hours on a Saturday afternoon is lovely, until it’s 2am on Sunday and sleep feels a long way off.
In the small hours, I made a list of things I would do when I woke up this morning. Loosely speaking, it went:
- Bacon and egg sandwich for breakfast, with
- Iced coffee and clementine juice – clementine juice is much better than orange juice, trust me – on the balcony, followed by
- Long, indulgent bath, probably featuring Grass bubble bar and Devil’s Nightcap soap. I would probably also
- Shave my legs, and
- Wash my face with my lovely new Clinique and Neal’s Yard products.
I have no idea what time I actually fell asleep, except that it wasn’t before 3am. I woke up at 12:39 and, while my eyes still feel sunken, I have done all those things. The balcony breakfast was a result, and I didn’t even nearly burn the flat down when I fried the egg, tho only because I have been making regular sacrifices to the gods.
Grass – the bubble bar! – it just makes me happy, like springtime and woodland; so many bubbles and such a vibrant green colour. The smell that lasts for however long the bath lasts: about 90 minutes today, and I still have the wrinkles to prove it. Actually, the skin on my hands is a little dry, and I think it might be the soap, tho nothing some moisturiser can’t sort out.
When you unwrap Devil’s Nightcap soap for the second time, having wrapped it after use and left it on the side of the bath the first time, it has this unctuous sticky quality, like pulling the paper case off an over-iced cupcake. That’s the mud, I guess, and it’s incredibly satisfying.
Originally I bought a slab of Devil’s Nightcap because I thought it would go well with Guardian of the Forest, my all time favourite relaxant, after Baclofen – they both have oakmoss, I think it is the oakmoss that attracts me to that bath bomb – but it goes very well with Grass too. It’s the natural, woody scents in both. Devil’s Nightcap is incredibly satisfying for scrubbing yourself down with, and lord knows I needed a scrubdown. (Sleeping a lot involves sweat, lots of sweat, yummy.)
When I washed my hair, a lot of it fell out, which is probably to do with my not having brushed it out properly in several days, because I don’t always have the hand eye co-ordination available to do that, but I used to have alopecia, and it makes me nervous. I still haven’t had a chance to buy any more of my posh hairdresser-recommended shampoo, and I’ve run out of Big, so moved on to the all new Jersey Bounce, my all new emergency shampoo, which feels similar, but gentler, has salt and eggs and honey, and smells exactly like lemon curd. Exactly. I haven’t been using it enough to have an opinion on it yet, but, Lemon. Curd. Like washing your hair in cake, then.
Maybe it’s sad to have so much fun in the bath, but it was just a lot of fun. Everything was. And I did shave my legs too. I have nothing funny to say about that, just that I find it difficult to shave my legs, and usually get them waxed, but getting them waxed is complicated because I have a startle reflex. I need a salon which has both a couch which can be lowered and raised, and a beautician who is willing to risk being kicked in the face. (I try not to do that, but that’s the point of a reflex.) I had found exactly that salon, but it closed down. Now I am testing out new ones by getting them to do my eyebrows first and seeing if they freak out. So I have very neat eyebrows, and very hairy legs, and it was time to attempt a shave. I use a basic gel which isn’t scented, starts out as a gel, and then foams up, which seems to work for me, in so far as anything works for me – the success is that I have shaved my own legs, and am not bleeding from a major artery.
After all that, my bathwater still smelt of spring woodland, tho the bubbles had gone. I wallowed around in it a bit longer. Go, Grass!
Once I got out, I washed my face with Clinique’s Charcoal Cleansing Gel, which I know I need to use for longer than a few days to have a real opinion on, but does seem to be making my pores tighter and my skin happier. I followed it up with my old favourite Witch Hazel Water, which has been keeping my skin more or less under control for years, and which I can tell when I stop using. Lately I have been considering cheating on it with Glow Tonic, a cult product I am coming to only approximately four years late, and which I hear might actually sort my oily face out without ripping off a layer of skin – contains witch hazel too. But hey, I have two fresh bottles of the Neal’s Yard stuff in my cupboard, and it ain’t done nothing bad to me yet.
Sunday is not even nearly over. I am supposed to be doing some work. I am actually going out to dinner, then going to the cinema, and I haven’t ruled out another bath yet.