I should not be allowed to interact with other people.
It started when I woke up on edge. I felt like my heart was beating too fast, I don’t know if it was. There were a lot of thoughts in my head. I couldn’t quite organise them.
I was expecting a delivery, which came. I wanted breakfast, but wasn’t sure what. I thought I might be on edge because I was hungry. Eventually settled on beans on toast, only to discover I didn’t have any bread, so just ate the beans – thus setting the tone for the day.
I sat on the balcony. I drank lots of tea. I wanted to go to the park and I also wanted a bath and I couldn’t quite be bothered to do either, so I just sat on the balcony, drinking tea. I realised I had a tremor type thing going on. That was annoying.
I decided I needed to do something, so I wrote an email, an email which turned out to be so wildly misjudged I kind of hate myself. Ho hum.
Then I had a bath – Perlier, Honey – which smelt sweeter than I remembered, and less like honey, but was momentarily relaxing.
I got out of the bath and wrote another badly judged message, and realised I just needed to give up. It is 19:44. I still have a tremor. I am wondering if it is too early for bed.