Some days

I should not be allowed to interact with other people.

It started when I woke up on edge.  I felt like my heart was beating too fast, I don’t know if it was.  There were a lot of thoughts in my head.  I couldn’t quite organise them.

I was expecting a delivery, which came.  I wanted breakfast, but wasn’t sure what.  I thought I might be on edge because I was hungry.  Eventually settled on beans on toast, only to discover I didn’t have any bread, so just ate the beans – thus setting the tone for the day.

I sat on the balcony.  I drank lots of tea.  I wanted to go to the park and I also wanted a bath and I couldn’t quite be bothered to do either, so I just sat on the balcony, drinking tea.  I realised I had a tremor type thing going on.  That was annoying.

I decided I needed to do something, so I wrote an email, an email which turned out to be so wildly misjudged I kind of hate myself.  Ho hum.

Then I had a bath – Perlier, Honey – which smelt sweeter than I remembered, and less like honey, but was momentarily relaxing.

I got out of the bath and wrote another badly judged message, and realised I just needed to give up.  It is 19:44.  I still have a tremor.  I am wondering if it is too early for bed.

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