There was a list of things I had to achieve this weekend. I have achieved two of them. The list had more than two items on it.
I am not being too hard on myself. Sometimes, it is important to do nothing. Like, sanity-preserving. Especially when you are knackered and your pain levels aren’t funny anymore.
The things I did do:
- Sleep. 8hrs 53 minutes, according to my Fitbit, which always over-estimates these things, but still.
- Talk to my mum. Because.
- Eat: Cauliflower Cheese Soup. Cheese Scone, with Creme Fraiche.
- Bathe. Sakura.
Sakura bath bomb has been around forever, and although I don’t generally gravitate toward floral scents, I like it because it is salty, and because it doesn’t make the bath look like a unicorn has had a gastric episode nearby, and because the scent is rich and deep and feels very grown up and complete, and you can just lie there and luxuriate. Not too much oil. No glitter. No dying the bath funny colours. Just a really lovely gentle mature perfume, so you can sink down and wallow, like an adult.
I did sink down and wallow. Dreaming of the spring that will one day come. Worrying a bit about the things I haven’t done. Trying to switch my brain off. My brain!
And by the time I had got out of the bath and dried myself off and watched two episodes of The Simpsons – the one where they live in Mr Burns’ mansion, and the one where they get a racehorse named Duncan – and drank more tea, and done one of the things I had been aiming to acheive, by that time the day was pretty much over.
I had been contemplating batch cooking an easy, one pot curry, but cooking is only something I can do safely when I am having a disproportionately un-wobbly day, and that day was not today. I took something out of the freezer instead.
I did make it downstairs to buy a banana – I harbour dreams of banana on toast for breakfast tomorrow – and while I was there, I bought a terry’s chocolate orange, because it was on offer, and a piece of chocolate felt like a good idea. This feeling escalated and by 10pm I was drinking a hot chocolate – proper hot chocolate, made with the stuff I got for Christmas, and milk, and whiskey. Just because.
Sometimes, it’s good to do nothing.